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Death's Instagram Is Full Of Evil Ideas To Help You Die Quickly

Death's Instagram Is Full Of Evil Ideas To Help You Die Quickly image

Death's Instagram Is Full Of Evil Ideas To Help You Die Quickly

Meet The Swim Reaper. He's a cheeky Instagram celebrity using dark humor to remind New Zealanders to swim a little safer.

Or else, well, you get the picture. He's the Reaper, so he knows how to take care of business.

This hilarious parody account was started by the government of New Zealand as a way to remind beachgoers to take basic safety precautions – don't swim drunk, don't dive in shallow water, and watch out for rip tides. All of which can lead to a watery grave sooner rather than later.

Of course, coming from the Swim Reaper himself, most of the messages are phrased as if he wants you to make a dumb decision. A Reaper's gotta make a living too!

Lookin to reap some peeps this summer. If ur gonna make dumb decisions in the water, I’ll be waiting.

Our favorite post? The Swim Reaper loves to hawk jeans on the beach for dudes who don't like swim trunks.

"Tired of being so buoyant?" he asks. "Problem solved. My range of swimming trunks are guaranteed to get you to the sea bed faster. Order now and you could be drowning this side of Christmas."

Follow along here for more terrible beach-going advice.

Via Instagram

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